How to Start Over with Confidence

When we talk about “confidence”, there can be confusion as to what the word actually means. Often, we mix up the differences between “self worth”, “confidence” and “self esteem”. Here is a simply definition for each:

Self Worth - This is how valuable you believe you are as a person

Self Esteem - This is how positively you evaluate yourself overall

Confidence - This is how much you believe you can do a specific thing

Sometimes, we need the confidence to let go of an old chapter that no longer serves or meets our needs, for example, perhaps you are no longer happy in a relationship, so you want to end the relationship. You may believe you deserve a better relationship and know the relationship needs to end for your wellbeing; so the self esteem and self worth is present. Here is where confidence determines what happens next, without the confidence, we stay in the relationship out of fear of the unknown of what will happen next. When we have confidence, we know we can handle whatever will come next whether it be good or bad.

Perhaps you are at a point in your life where you want to start a new career, this involves letting go of the old job, making the decision to hand in your notice and move on. People can spend years in a job they hate, because they fear the unknown of what will happen next, assuming that will come next could be worse or a negative experience. If you are wanting to start something new, perhaps a new career, a career that you have no experience in, this can feel like an uphill challenge, a steep learning curve. It’s easy to begin to doubt ourselves, our abilities, decision making skills etc.

So the question is…how do we get the confidence to make those changes.

If you are wanting to start a new chapter, usually the “mindset” that is holding you back is a lack of confidence to try, because you’ve created a belief that you have a high probability of failure, that failure is scary, and/or if you did fail you fear the judgement from others.

I have never been scared of failure, because I live my life with the mindset of “I would prefer to try and fail, then always wonder what could have been.” I never feared failure, or worried that I would regret the choices I made, because to me, not trying at all would have been the bigger fail and regret.